I don't know what it was like for you, but I can tell you what it was like for me. I didn't connect all the dots right away. I was a normal, average gal doing all the things you're supposed to do. The only thing that changed my ways was my "spark". This event, or trigger, will be different for everyone. It was ONLY because of this spark that I began to do things differently. That I began researching independently, that I started trusting my own intuition. No one told me to. No one yelled at me to. And most importantly, I was led to the knowledge by my own drive and curiosity. There, I think, is something we can take from this. And let me be clear: this didn't just come to me all at once. Such a drastic change in thinking and being would be bizarre, I would think. No, this is years in the making. We can't expect someone to just roll out of bed and think differently because you told them to. I have realized that there is no argument to be had, because the opponent simply does not know what you know. They have not seen what you have seen. (In most cases, I know you wouldn't want them to, but this is the core- they didn't experience your experiences first hand. They might not even believe your accounts of what happened.) So instead of urging people to shake the wool from their eyes (how can they, if they don't even know it is there? If they don't know WHY it is there?) I think there are a few things we can encourage here instead.
A want to learn. This is key. I used to think it was admirable to know exactly who you are and where you stand, and I still do. However, it is never admirable to dismiss new information. If new research comes to light and you dismiss it because you are firmly in one camp and not the other- never, ever will you ever be in the other- this is wrong. I am admittedly in numerous "camps", my beliefs are strong. But as an educated person, it is my job to seek out the facts all the time, every time. If something changes, my stance must change. It is not wise to let stubbornness cloud our judgement. One could call this piece open-mindedness, but I also think it's a big part of not short-changing ourselves. Why stop now? Keep going.
Lifelong learning. As I said above, the drive and the curiosity to learn more come from this part. It isn't going to happen overnight. Some people hang this one up at age 18, or 22, or 25. Enough of that, they say. But I would argue that you aren't done, not in the slightest. You are only about a quarter into your life, and you will be ever evolving until the day you die. Once you embrace that you are a lifelong learner, I think it's easier to be a more fluid thinker. "I'm still learning", you can say. I might not know much about this particular topic, but I can learn it. I don't need someone telling me how to learn it- I was given the tools (maybe, hopefully) to analyze this information and come to my own conclusions about it. And you can do that over and over again for as long as you live! Isn't that amazing?
Know a little bit about a lot of things. Apart from the last two points, which emphasize something that might be a calling or a passion, and perhaps can not be learned, this one is easy enough. Know a little about a lot of things. Why? Increasing the breadth of your knowledge can lead you down many paths, of course. But it also gives you a good grounding on multiple viewpoints. If you tend to think mechanically, brush up on some psychology. If you tend to lean on an allopathic/ medical model, read up a few things about a holistic approach. Here we can start to imagine how people have such drastic, radically different opinions. For me, personally, it is important that I read the opposing views of the stuff I am most passionate about. It is not for the reason you may be thinking ("know thy enemy") it is simply because I am fascinated in how strongly they hold their beliefs. Why do they think this? How did they form that opinion? What did they read that has them so fired up? I must know, I must see the source. It all circles back to knowing a little about a lot of things- without this, it's difficult to see where people come from, what path they took to get here, and knowing and recognizing the path that YOU took and how it differs.
Mindfulness of stereotypes. Maybe not as easy as it sounds. See below.
Trust of intuition. This may be another one that is learned, and not so easy to teach. I believe my strong trust of intuition comes from me listening to my gut over several occasions, and finding it to be correct. Over time, I noticed the correlation between a gut feeling and it being right. This was only learned with experience and a willingness to trust what I was feeling that first time. But as with everything else I've mentioned, if we can be mindful of it, notice it, listen to it and it led you the right way- do whatever you have to do to remember that. Write it down, blog about it, instagram it, whatever it is, make conscious mention of it so you are more likely to remember it down the road when you're thinking, hey, my intuition was right like 3 or 4 times now, I'm starting to feel like it might know what it's doing! There is science to back up what we call intuition or going with your gut. What's going on inside? Your mind is processing something you aren't conscious of yet. Below is an example that you can find at Science Daily:
[The researcher] cites the recorded case of a Formula One driver who braked sharply when nearing a hairpin bend without knowing why – and as a result avoided hitting a pile-up of cars on the track ahead, undoubtedly saving his life.
“The driver couldn’t explain why he felt he should stop, but the urge was much stronger than his desire to win the race,” explains Professor Hodgkinson. “The driver underwent forensic analysis by psychologists afterwards, where he was shown a video to mentally relive the event. In hindsight he realised that the crowd, which would have normally been cheering him on, wasn’t looking at him coming up to the bend but was looking the other way in a static, frozen way. That was the cue. He didn’t consciously process this, but he knew something was wrong and stopped in time.”
Be Doubtful. Be Skeptical. And never, ever make decisions based on fear. My final observation sounds cynical, but it's actually not. When you start approaching everything with a healthy dose of skepticism you will find that you don't need to be spoon-fed opinions or answers. Again, who knows if you can "learn" to be a skeptic. You can certainly make an effort, though. Why? It's like this: when we go along our whole life with the same people and learn things from trusted sources, we become conditioned. Not in a bad way, not in an Orwellian way- we just do. We trust who we know, who we love, and what they tell us must undoubtedly be true. What if you took every statement they said and questioned: Who's saying this? Why would they say that? What is the motivation for saying it? You don't have to analyze everything people say, you just have to remember that some people repeat what they hear, some people buy in to different ideologies than you do, and some people unwillingly subscribe to fear.
"Fear mongering" is defined as "the action of deliberately arousing public fear or alarm about a particular issue." I'm not going to go as far as to villify your news sources (but do join an alternative news source for a healthy balance of information on both sides of all issues, for your well being as much as mine). I have done so well not mentioning any topic in particular and am going to try to get through the next few sentences without bringing them up, and therefore, not using any examples. Hopefully you will understand what I'm saying without illustration. I am keeping this blog post Topic Free so that anyone and everyone can apply themselves to what I'm saying and take pieces back to their "camp".
What I'm looking for here is a refusal to buy in to fear based articles, news stories, what have you. This is very easy. Here's what to do: read the title of the article. Stop. How does it make you feel? Does it elicit an immediate response? If the answer is yes- this is not just a headline. It was placed there to make you feel that way. Ask yourself the questions. Why? Who? To what purpose? Most importantly, I urge you to NEVER make a decision based on fear. You don't have to say no- just press pause. "I have to read more about it", "I will have to look into it, thanks for the suggestion", "I'm not saying no, just not right now" are all appropriate responses if you are feeling pressure to respond.
Words have power, and using them manipulatively is common place. So when you feel a certain emotion when reading, or when speaking with someone, work with that. When I read something that makes me feel a certain way (on purpose), I immediately search to see if there is any official response. Sometimes called a "rebuttal", these pieces can be found through the grapevine of like-minded people or even a quick Google search. They show up in academic papers and research journals, all the way down to a local Op Ed piece in your local newspaper. I'll again say that I recommend reading one story from both sides- yes, every time. Which leads me to my final point.
Time- bread and circuses. If you've made it this far, you're probably wondering what the heck, lady. I can't go through life this way- it's too much work, it takes too much time- time that I don't have. And let me say that I agree with you completely. This is not your fault. Bread and circuses, or Panem et circenses, has been around long before you were even thought of. The general idea is to keep people superficially busy so that they do not have the time to go about questioning everything and everyone. Literally, it means to provide the common people with cheap food and cheap entertainment so they don't notice what you are doing (a power grab, corruption, etc). Make no mistake- I do not think working to provide for your family is superficial. It was set up so that you can be busy, so busy, so so so so busy, that time for independent research is limited if existent at all.
I recently read an article that argued that white, affluent, college educated females (a group that's less likely to vaccinate their children) were more able to do independent research simply because they could afford the luxury of TIME to do so. When everything else is stripped away- that is what it came down to. Time. They don't love more, care more, think more, rebel more- they simply were able to take matters into their own hands and devote time to it. That's it.
What CAN you do? So much of this list talks about things that are difficult to learn, let alone teach. Time is stacked against us and we belong to a system in which it is no way our fault if we can't carve out time to come to our own conclusions, so we turn to TV personalities or newscasters to tell us what to do and what to think (Yes, I know not all of you do this, it's a point I'm making). So pretty hopeless, right? I don't think so. I think there are a few things we can do as individuals. I think we can stop yelling at people to wake up. I hope that I've provided enough evidence that it's not useful and won't change anything- but if you need more, my husband suggests that it sounds condescending and something the whack jobs would say.
I think that we can lead by example. So many of the great thinkers, Osho and Rumi included, mention that you can change the world by changing yourself.
I think that there is a greatness in being heard- my entire being longs to educate and advocate- but perhaps it is sometimes wise to let them come to you. I say enough so that people know where I stand, but I do not harp. If I conduct myself in a quiet, unassuming manner, they will come to me. And they have. With questions. With problems. And every time I am thankful that I did not push them away by going off on tangents about sheeple. Because when they are ready to listen, you must be there for them.
And finally, if this made you mad: Ask yourself why.
No comments:
Post a Comment